Our guide to watching porn as a couple

Confessing your love for watching gay orgies doesn't mean your partner has to like the same thing - compromise is key
Content TeamBy Content Team  •  Oct 17, 2017 at 8:00am  •  Consent, Pornography, Relationships, Sex

Watching porn is no longer a secretive, solo act anymore (unless you want it to be) – but introducing it into your bedroom routine can be awkward at first. How do you bring it up – and how do you make sure it makes your sex sessions better, not worse? How do you check that your partner’s into the same weird shit you are?

Here’s our (hopefully) foolproof guide to watching porn as a pair. Warning: NSFW content ahead!

 



 

Talk about it before you get down to it

It’s all well and good suggesting a blue movie when you’re both already hot under the collar, but you should really bring up these sorts of questions in a neutral, clothes-on situation first.

Depending on their own viewing habits, your partner may want some time to digest your suggestion. Even if you know they watch porn by themselves, it may not be something they feel suits them in a couple situation – and that’s OK.

 

Lay your likes and dislikes down honestly

Watching porn together doesn’t mean you have to present your partner with a list of every weird and wacky porn category you’ve ever explored, but if you like something in particular – lesbian porn or BDSM, for instance – then it’s important to tell them what you’ll like.

However, confessing your love for watching gay orgies doesn’t mean your partner has to like the same thing – compromise is key. It’s fine to leave some of your more niche fantasies for when you’re flying solo.

 

Talk about consent

How feminist is the porn you watch? It may well not be something you’ve ever thought about, but you should consider whether the acts depicted in porn are sensitive and inclusive. Scenes depicting assault, violence, or rape – even if fake – are deeply problematic and definitely not something everyone gets off on.

Consider what your partner might find attractive, too – there are plenty of sites nowadays that strive to make friendlier, more realistic porn (women orgasming? People with love handles? I know, we could barely believe it either) so it’s worth seeking out the stuff you’re both going to feel comfortable watching.

 

Set down some ground rules

Whether you only watch porn as occasional foreplay or make it an integral part of your relationship, you need to mutually agree on it. Just because the action taking place is on a screen doesn’t mean usual rules don’t apply – conversation, consent and mutual enjoyment is key.

If you feel like watching porn together is stifling or having a detrimental effect on your sex life, make sure you communicate that with your partner and work out the best course of action together.

 

Finally, if porn doesn’t work out – don’t sweat it

Watching porn as a couple is *not* an inevitable part of modern day relationships. Plenty of people don’t watch porn at all, some people prefer to keep their porn habits to themselves, and for others it’s a great way of keeping their sexual relationship fresh and exciting.

If you aren’t having fun, definitely don’t force it. Awkwardness is the number one mood killer.

 

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