Category: Sex

I was walking home at the end of a long week when I remembered that one of the boys I knew as a child had touched me without my consent. I say this nonchalantly because that’s exactly how it felt – a dull awakening, a dimmed bulb slowly brightening rather than a real ‘lightbulb moment’. When I got home I put my tea in the...

  What are we willing to compromise and why? It is not uncommon for people to find themselves engaged in swinging, for example, because they were too fearful to lose their partner if they didn’t. We need to be extremely self reflective and ask ourselves difficult questions such as our potential for jealousy or people...

“How can you be with her when she doesn’t love you?” “She does love me, in her own way.” That is as simple as it should be – yet, it rarely ever is. Aromantics may not ever experience romantic attraction (although some do) but that doesn’t mean that romantic relationships are necessarily off the table. Aromantic...

Watching porn is no longer a secretive, solo act anymore (unless you want it to be) – but introducing it into your bedroom routine can be awkward at first. How do you bring it up – and how do you make sure it makes your sex sessions better, not worse? How do you check that your partner’s into the same weird shit you...

It’s the 28th of September. The Global Day of Action for Access to Safe and Legal Abortion – something that does not, in 2017, exist everywhere. This particular 28th of September also happens to mark the one-year anniversary of my own abortion. The one that I had freely, safely and legally at a local clinic in London....

Coerced consent (or sexual coercion) is when you convince or persuade someone to engage in a sexual activity they are not comfortable with. This could be achieved by using alcohol or drugs to lower a partner’s ability to be assertive, but can also be through emotionally manipulating, pressuring or threatening a...

The dating world is notoriously hard to navigate, with a language all its own. It’s filled with hidden rules and regulations that none of us seem clued up on. Figuring out if our date is actually interested can be a skill all on its own, but what if you already have a mental illness that makes it difficult to connect...

  Over the last year, I’ve seen a significant increase in the number of people in their early 20’s coming to see me. I see people of all ages, so there’s nothing new in seeing people of this age group, but the concern for me is the reason why they feel they need sex therapy. They’re seeking out professional help...

People often say I am one of the most resilient people they know, given what I have experienced and that my own abuse spans over a length of 18 years. It is a nice sentiment, but day after day I realise how it’s not actually a character trait, it is a demand of trauma. I have to be resilient. I have to be resilient in...

When it comes to birth control, women are involved pretty early in their lives, when men are barely told what periods are. Education is quite unfair on the subject, and apart from “what are periods?”, “what are pills?”, and “what are condoms?”, youngsters are rarely explained every detail of the subject. Yet, birth...